The Pain of Loss
by FringeDivision2008
Summary: Everyday the prisoner was visited to information and everyday someone goes to collect what he had to give. Finally the day comes that Skye has to go collect the information and for the first time in months she is faced the man who betrayed her and destroyed her love: Grant Ward.


The Pain of Loss

Spoilers: ALL Season 1 AoS episodes and Season 2 promo

Disclaimer: I own nothing!

* * *

Skye looked at the computer in front of her, the email alone made her want to hit the small range that their base held. The new director of SHIELD had sent her an email before departing to speak with the US government about potential funding. The email detailed what he needed from their prisoner that day in regards to information. The prisoner being her former supervising officer, of which she hadn't seen since he'd been incarcerated in the dark levels of their base months before.

Coulson had moved him to their base in hopes of using his knowledge of HYDRA to their advantage. Most of the team had gone to see him at least once, Fitz had gone with Simmons and apparently from what she understood had forgiven Ward for his betrayal. She hadn't gone, the betrayal too much to confront and the pain from discarded emotions too raw to even uncover. She's pushed it away, pushed the thought of him away and ignored that he was floors beneath her feet.

Shutting her computer she made her way to the small corner of the living area that was the kitchen. As expected, May was there making a cup of tea along with a bagel.

"Coulson left me instructions to see the prisoner and get information today." Skye laid a piece of paper down. "I have several programs to write so I need you to do it."

Without another word she turned to leave but May's voice cut her steps off. "You have to go eventually Skye. Avoiding the past doesn't make it go away." A piece of paper came into her visual range as the woman moved to her. "Consider it an order from both of us to go."

Grabbing the paper, she sighed and stormed off from the room.

* * *

The building didn't have an elevator, it had stairs only and so going down the five flights of stairs to the holding level Skye ignored the silent hallways. Making her way to the door of the cell Ward lay in she paused to collect herself. She knew by the end it would either free her from pain or destroy her so she took a few moments.

Closing her eyes, she allowed every emotion and good memory of Ward to surface before mentally grabbing them all and shoved them in a box. Locking it off from her conscious mind, she tucked it away to ignore and allowed all the anger, pain and memories of betrayal to lie just beneath the surface. After doing this, she opened her eyes and laid her hand on the keypad beside the door.

The light turned green and she opened the door. Walking into the cell, she saw Ward sitting on the small mattress that lay on the floor. He wore grey scrubs, the closest thing to a prison uniform they could get. A chair sat in the middle of the room while a prison toilet and sink lay in the corner. He looked up at her and seemed to stare, not moving or looking away as if trying to believe it was her.

"In the chair now!" She made the demand and he moved, getting up from the floor and went to sit in the chair. "Here is how it is going to go. You give me the information I ask for. Anything more or less and your food will be restricted for two days. Move from the chair and you'll be shot in a non-vital area." She pulled a gun from her waistband and held it at her side. "Moscow base, I want population of agents and security codes as well as weapon stocks."

Ward looked at her, "agents I don't know since it wasn't a base that I visited. As for security codes, all security codes are the same based on continent. European codes are 4536; at least they were before I was arrested. Weapon stocks are Russian based weapons, mostly AK-47s, Russian nukes and any armaments they have."

Looking into his eyes she nodded, "someone will be down with your meal later." She turned to leave with the gun still at her side, armed and ready for use.

* * *

"Skye…" his voice made her stop and turn her head slightly. Her grip on the gun tightening as her heart did. "Give me three minutes then you never have to see me again."

Turning she looked at him, "you don't deserve three minutes, you don't even deserve three seconds of my time. I'm only here because I was assigned to get information today."

He looked down and nodded, "you're right, I don't even deserve to be in the same room as you but Raina told me information about your parents. Information you deserve to have because what she told me is worrying."

"What information did she tell you?"

"The monsters who destroyed the village, she said they were searching for a baby. Your blood sample matches the baby they were searching for." He stood and she raised the weapon. "The monster were looking for the baby, their baby…they were your parents."

Skye stared at him with hatred, "you're wrong."

"Why would I lie? I'm never leaving this cell and once SHIELD has all the information I can give I'm dead." He looked down at the floor. "Just shoot Raina if you find her, don't ask questions because while Garrett was psychopathic, she makes him look sane."

She backed up to the door with the weapon still raised. "Glad you finally see that he wasn't worth the dirt he walked on. I think it came a little too late though and because you couldn't see past a debt you destroyed everything you could have had."

"I know that." He finally looked up at her, "you are my biggest regret, the thing that eats at me night and day. Coulson can torture me mentally and physically but he doesn't realize that it could never compare to pain I feel because…"

"Because why? You followed a psychopath or you harmed people who cared about you?"

Ward shook his head and looked to the side, "because I lost the only person I've ever let myself love." He met her eyes, "I destroyed a future because of what I thought I had to do. Nothing can compare to that, not even physical or mental torture."

Without another word he went and sat down on the mattress as she left the room. Closing the door, she waited till it locked before collapsing beside the door in silent sobs.

* * *

She sent an email to Coulson as soon as she got to her bunk. The email included the information she obtained along with a request to take the rest of the day off. After the email was sent she curled up in her bunk and allowed herself to cry. The emotions buried for months emerged and the raw pain finally had to be dealt with. It was not something she could ever think to face, she didn't think she ever could but in a single moment everything had shattered and erupted.

May found her later after she missed both lunch and dinner. The woman sat on the bed beside Skye, who laid down hugging a pillow. "What happened?"

"Doesn't matter."

"Did he try to harm you?"

Skye shook her head, "no, but he told me about my parents. About what Raina told him and he really has no reason to lie."

"Do you want me to go inflict some harm? Its been a while since Coulson has inflicted physical harm."

Sitting up the former hacker sighed, "I don't think it will help. He confessed something to me and I realize that he's right." She let her eyes meet May's, "no amount of physical or mental torture we inflict will be as bad as the realization that he threw everything away to follow a madman. His future, the family he had and anything he even dared to care for. He'll have to live with that as long as he breathes while any mental or physical torture is short term."

"Okay." The woman stood, "you need to eat something though."

"I will." She smiled and May started towards the door. "May, does it ever go away?"

The woman turned, "what do you want to go away?"

"The pain of losing someone you loved."

With a hand on the door the woman smiled, "no but in time the pain dulls. In time you move on and accept what happened, why they were lost and you learn to remember the good times."

* * *

A/N: Had to write my own story based on the Season 2 promo

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